Max in a box!

Even I don't know how I got in this box!

Good things come in small packages :)

Dad, looked down and there I was compactly curled into this small box. He was busy working on a story. Not one of my stories. He does write his own. But there I was snuggled in.

You can spread some cheer by giving small packages.

All of my 32 tales are collected in a paperback. It's the purrfect gift for your cat loving friends. What could be better than a gift of Maxitude?

And until Christmas Eve you can get the ebook of all the tales for just 99¢ more. 

Paperback Tails From The Park https://goo.gl/EX8SvM. You can add the ebook from there.

ebook Tails From The Park http://goo.gl/GoU3A2

Happy Holidays!

and a head bump!

Max

Book Reviews - Author Gold

Tails From the Park Reviews

Purrrrrrrring! I can't decide whether to clean my whiskers, turn in circles, or go outside for another adventure.

It's one thing to tell stories and get them up on Amazon but getting reviews is the greatest gift an author can get. Thanks to my readers who took time out of their busy lives to post a review.

Reaching out with a paw of love.

If you want more Max get Tails From The Park (Series 3).

Who would think that a cat named Max would make me want to keep turning the page? Wherever he goes, something happens, and no matter how big the mess, he somehow comes out on top every time. Max continues to delight. VBF

There is more than one book in this series. The books are so cute and funny as they follow Max thru his adventures. I have already pre-ordered the next book. I just love cats. And I wlsh Max was my cat. C. A. Isbell 

Max lives a very full and exciting life, it is fun to see the world through Max's eyes.
Can't wait for the next one.Thomas Allen 

More great Max tails (tales). More scraps with the maintenance man, a conflict with a police dog causing the Sheriff to show up.... You need to read it yourself to learn of Max's other adventures including Max early life before coming to live with Mom and Dad, and Baby. This little character continues to delight and I hope there are more adventures to come.  OldGiantFan

Max continues to entertain me with his adventures.Mary E. Pergande

Max is such an interesting feline. Always getting into such cute situations.
The author Tim seems to think like a cat or does he actually converse with MAX??Nannyof4

Great fun. Great read. So glad I'm getting to know the Maxtor.Barbara Forman-Mack

Max

Meet My Arch Cat Rival, Ivan The Blue

Meet My Arch Cat Rival, Ivan!

Tails From The Park (Series 4) is coming out on October 15. Here's a preview from the chapter Amanda.

A few of his gang became unruly and the lieutenants had to scramble to keep control. Ivan held me down with one massive paw on my upper body. It was getting harder to breathe. His eyes flashed when he turned his head toward me. He opened his mouth and bared his giant fangs. From behind him Amanda jumped onto his back and drove her teeth into his side. He howled and shook her off. I watched as she landed against the sliding glass door. 

She got back up onto her paws and growled. When she stepped out, the floor seemed to jump under us. The deck became a mass of grey bodies as the gangsters flung themselves in all directions, trying to beat a hasty retreat as best they could. In a matter of seconds only Amanda, Ivan, his two lieutenants and I were left on the deck. I had double vision but I could see that the kitchen light had come on. The door’s lock unlatched and a whoosh of hot air ruffled Amanda’s fur. Unnerved Ivan’s lieutenants growled in that guttural foreign tongue of theirs. He moved and the pressure on my shoulder let up enough for me to pull myself out from under his big paw. Free, I backed up, which forced Amanda against the sliding glass door. The vertical blinds slapped wildly back and forth as the light threw itself and its shadows across the deck as my mom appeared over us. 

Spooked, the lieutenants backed away, almost falling off the front steps finally Ivan turned and then slowly almost casually he walked down the steps. 

I heard Mom’s voice, “Max, who’s your little friend there…honey?” How she missed seeing my tormenter I could only guess. My dad appeared, his head sticking out into the cold.

My other books are available on Amazon now.  Get more Max and a lot of Maxitude!

Max

Writing Is Work

But Storytelling Is Fun

Usually I leave the computer work to +Tim Hammill but every once in a while I like to...play around on the keyboard.

I had fun telling the stories in the latest book. Do you have Tails From The Park (Series 3)? Here's a little bit about how I got really cool with sunglasses.

She followed my gaze to her jewellery, and exclaimed, “I know, I can make you look really, really cool.”

She flung herself out of bed and from a chest of drawers pulled out a pair of blue jeans. Sticking one long leg then the other into them she forced herself into the tight pants. She grabbed a T-shirt that proclaimed, ‘custom shades by Stormi.’ Pulling the garment up and over her head, she flipped her mass of blonde hair about in the air. Now, she was ready to make me cool.

She picked me up off the bed and we ran down the hallway. She placed me on the work table, rummaged through a box on the floor, and pulled out a clear plastic bag filled with sunglasses marked ‘Baby shades-2 years old’.

“Oh, this is going to be a blast!” she exclaimed.

She worked in a frenzy, popping the dark lenses out of the frames. Placing them off to one side of her work bench, she cut the frames in places, and added plastic pieces where needed. We went through six or seven pair before she got her adjustments correct. They sat on my nose just fine and weren’t too heavy. The problem was with the ear pieces.

“You see, kid, your ears are in a totally different place than my usual customers. I’m going to have to make an extra bit of plastic that fits over your head a little on both sides and then mold the ear pieces around the back. Then, I’ll add a band of elastic to keep the glasses on.”

After the last of the final adjustments she slipped the glasses onto my head. I was sleepy so it didn’t bother me in the least. When she was finished, I curled up into a ball and nodded off to Z land.

Head bumps!

Max

More Max! Book 3 is out.

Get more Max!

Meet Max, a cat who tells stories, collected in a series of humorous, adventure tales full of laughter, tenderness, and escapes in Tails From The Park. 

Max has an abundance of hereditary feline curiosity. What starts out as innocent exploration often leads to unintended escapades. He lives with his human Mom and Dad in a mobile home park where life is simple, unless you are a cat. 

Full of colorful characters whose sentiments can turn Max from quiet napping intermission to extraordinary mayhem each story sets its own pace. 

Best of all, you’ll discover Maxitude. Max has a way of telling which is full of curiosity and vigor. Life is best with Maxitude. 

Fuerza Bruta: A big yellow monster and a deep hole. 
Nostalgia: A photo album and a piece of string. 
Stormi: Max gets custom sunglasses. 
The Fixer: Max enters the foodie world. 
That’s Entertainment: Max and Baby 
The Importance of Being Max: Stage debut. 

Of course, Max has trouble interfacing with computers and their periphery. His best skill is waiting patiently for paper to come out of the printer so he can pounce. He enlists his human friend, Tim Hammill, as an intermediary to put the stories into words. 

Curl up for lighthearted entertainment and get your Maxitude. 
#MaxTails 

Traveling Round

Dad's Truck

I'm always ready for an adventure, the front of Dad's truck is a good place to scope out what's going on in the world. 

My new book Tails From The Park (Series2) is out and Dad and I get into trouble with the police. I even get arrested for defending myself. Here's an excerpt from the story Ka-Bing about how I started it all.

Ka-Bing

The squad car’s rear door opened, and the K9 officer said, “I’ll have a look around in the back with Luke. Maybe there’s another party-goer we missed.”

When the Luke’s paws hit the blacktop his head came down as my ears snapped forward. I scooted backwards behind my dad’s leg. Dad’s hand hovered above me when the Shepherd lunged straight at us. The cop who held its leash, hadn’t attached it yet. For a fraction of a second everything stood still. Did I say everything? Well, everything but me. I turned and made a beeline to the middle of the deck.

My heart pounded in my ears. The Shepherd’s pointed ears were just visible over the top step. I had maybe two seconds before total disaster would be upon me. In between our deck and Melissa’s carport cover was a line of lemon trees. I drew myself down into a coiled position, building tension in my rear legs. I felt the deck rumble with the jolt of one hundred and thirty pounds of mean police dog, the policeman’s voice grumbled “Shit! My first day with this dog and all hell breaks loose.”

Now was my time to act.

I made the leap to the metal handrail then Ka-Binged, very gracefully I must say, straight up to the nearest tree branch just as the Shepherd snapped at my tail…I always forget about my tail.

I wrapped my front paws around the branch. My hind legs dangled like a monkey’s. It wasn’t going to hold me for very long either. I made myself as comfortable as I could, and looked down at my antagonist.

He jumped up at me, but his weight carried him over the handrail and onto the ground below. Meanwhile his handler was trying to get around Stan’s truck, while the other officer had his hands full with Melissa and her boyfriend. The police dog took a second leap at me but he fell short. Feeling safe, and tired of his antics I leaned down as much as I dared. I’m sure he thought I’d made a mistake. He barked a couple of times and made another attempt at me.

As he rose he seemed to move in slow motion. With his teeth bared his dog face was getting closer and closer and getting bigger, too. His front paws moved as if he were swimming. Being the local king of swat I took dead aim on his nose which stood out for the offing. My claws were extended to the point where they hurt, I cut loose and swatted my target with all my might. My index claw made contact as he came up. I watched as the claw sank in deep, really, really deep.

Dad’s voice rang out, “Max-x-x!”

As the dog fell away, blood spray filled the air as if it came out of the garden hose. He was yelping before he hit the ground. A bit of flesh fell from the tip of my claw as it retracted.

 Well, goes to show, I know how to create a stir. But, really, dogs being aggressive is not something I tolerate.

You can read Ka-Bing and more in Tails From The Park (Series 2). Head on over to Amazon to get your copy.

And, if you want to read in style, you can keep me in treats at the same time when you get your Kindle Paperwhite.

Comment below to tell me how you like Ka-Bing.  I love my readers.

Max

Purrr. Purr. Book Party for More Max!

The Story Bodyguard is hosting a Book Party.

Come meet the author +Tim Hammill

+Max Tails and +Tim Hammill are releasing Book 2 of Tails From The Park Saturday, August 22. They are having a Book Party to celebrate. Tim will talk about working with a cat as co-author. He'll be reading from the book.

Come join the fun. RSVP at http://ccst.io/e/zaraaltair12. Then join us at 10 AM PT/ 12 Noon ET/ 6 PM BST.

Meet Max, a cat who tells stories, collected in a series of humorous, adventure tales full of laughter, tenderness, and escapes in Tails From The Park.

Max has an abundance of hereditary feline curiosity.  What starts out as innocent exploration often leads to unintended escapades. He lives with his human Mom and Dad in a mobile home park where life is simple, unless you are a cat.

Full of colorful characters whose sentiments can turn Max from quiet napping intermission to extraordinary mayhem each story sets its own pace.

Best of all, you’ll discover Maxitude. Max has a way of telling which is full of curiosity and vigor. Life is best with Maxitude.

No Where Man: A misty morning.

All Buicks Great and Small: A Buick and a lost friend.

The Fortune Teller: Max get’s his fortune read and creates some word magic.

The Earth Moved Under My Paws: A leash, a quake, a dream, a run.

Pete and Repeat: Short and snappy.

Ka-Bing: Max goes to jail.

Heidi Fang: Adventure with a beauty.

The Burglar:

Of course, Max has trouble interfacing with computers and their periphery. His best skill is waiting patiently for paper to come out of the printer so he can pounce. He enlists his human friend, Tim Hammill, as an intermediary to put the stories into words.

Curl up for lighthearted entertainment and get your Maxitude.

#MaxTails

If you are an author and want to hold a Book Party get in touch contact@TheStoryBodyguard.com.

We love authors and book parties.

Purrrrrring! Thanks to Book Reviewers!

Reviews Make Authors Purr!

You humans lead busy lives. Thanks to the reviewers who took time out of their life and put thought into their reviews of Tails From The Park. Who says cats aren't grateful? I am. Paw of Love to you all!  

PotsdamDan

Cristabelle

Thomas Allen

Mary E. Pergande

Jim Shepherd

VBF

  Max

Easiest Way to Read Tails From The Park

Amazon Has The Right Free Reader For You

Easy way to read Tails From the Park. I had fun telling these cat adventures. Hope you enjoy.

Free Kindle Reading Apps

Read Kindle books on your computer, tablet, or mobile phone with Kindle reading apps. You can download a Kindle reading app for free at www.amazon.com/gp/kindle/kcp.

Choose your reading app below for more help:

Kindle for iPad, iPhone, and iPod touch

Kindle for Android Phone

Kindle for Android Tablet

Kindle for PC

Kindle for Windows 8

Kindle for Mac

Kindle Cloud Reader

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Kindle for BlackBerry 10

Kindle for BlackBerry

Kindle for WebOS

Max

Meet My Antagonist

Maintenance Man

He's Always After Me

In every story in Tails From The Park I'm confronted by trouble and it comes in many forms: bikers, big dogs, The Vet, a school bully, a thief, well, you get the idea. But my constant nemesis is the Park's Maintenance Man.

Maintenance Man patrols the park on an electric cart armed with various tools. His job is to keep the Park looking good. He does odd repairs, freshens up the buildings with paint, and sends wandering animals off to the Pound! No place I want to be. 

Every time he sees me he is ready to capture me.

Tim, my cat translator and co-author, tells me stories need a strong antagonist. Well, this guy is trouble walking, err, riding a cart.

In my new book Kathmandu Maintenance Man is definitely out to get me. OK, the book isn't finished yet, but I know the story. Join the Max Gang for monthly mews and updates on my publishing dates. 

#TheMaxtor

Amazon Says: You Won't Want To Miss This New Book

Coming Soon from Max   I Can't Sit Still Tails From The Park: Humorous adventure cat stories.  Max  Release date: July 22, 2015    Kindle Edition: $2.99   Learn more  You have subscribed to new release emails for Max. You won't want to miss this new book.

I stand at the door to go outside. I go outside. No bugs. I stand at the door to go inside. I come inside. I hop up on the sofa to see what's going on out the window. I hop off the sofa and do fierce battle with the bad Santa. I win. I stand at the door to go outside...

Amazon says "You won't want to miss this new book."  I'm excited.

Want to be an early reader? I'm looking for some early reviews. I'll collect them and post them here. Give me your email address and I'll send you a PDF file to read. 

Yes! I want to read and review.  

I know you will have a good time.

Max

Maxitude!

Maxitude!

What is it?

• Bit of swagger. 
• Curiosity. 
• Sense of adventure. 
• High self-esteem. 
• Friendliness. 
• Call to explore.
• Playfulness.
• Napping expertise.

Maxitude is an overall feeling of being alive!

And loving it.

One thing early readers of Tails From The Park tell me is they love the Maxitude in the way the stories are told.

Tim, tells me, it's my "voice," whatever that means.

You can pre-order Tails, Series 1 now and get ready for some Maxitude when you receive the book on July 22.

Max

Tails Up and Running!

PURR! PURR! PURR!

TAILS FROM THE PARK

AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER

FROM AMAZON

Click here to order. Tails will automatically download on July 22.

Need a Kindle to read? I have a Paperwhite for you at a discount. 

Meet Max, a cat who tells stories, collected in a series of humorous, adventure tales full of laughter, tenderness, and escapes in Tails From The Park. 

Max has an abundance of hereditary feline curiosity. What starts out as innocent exploration often leads to unintended escapades. He lives with his human Mom and Dad in a mobile home park where life is simple, unless you are a cat. 

Full of colorful characters whose sentiments can turn Max from quiet napping intermission to extraordinary mayhem each story sets its own pace. 

The Park: Max moves into the Park with his human Mom and Dad. 
The Maxtor: Max shares his quirks and qualities detailed. 
Monday, Monday: Remember when something happened at school and you didn’t want your Mom to know? 
Not Fade Away: Max meets angels. 
Baby: The love of his life lures Max into a rescue mission. 
Black Dog: A menace, a fight, an end with a licking good twist. 
Red Sails: After a visit to the vet with life-changing consequences, Max discovers his inner strength. 

Of course, Max has trouble interfacing with computers and their periphery. His best skill is waiting patiently for paper to come out of the printer so he can pounce. He enlists his human friend, Tim Hammill, as an intermediary to put the stories into words. 

Curl up for lighthearted entertainment. 

Curiosity, Mischief, and Intelligence

Curiosity is a Sign of Intelligence

Many times when humans think we are trouble makers, we're really just following our natural curiosity. A cat's life is filled with strings of what if questions.

All cats exist in a constant state of tension between caution and curiosity. One emotion pushes them forward, then the other yanks them back. The whole time, their brain is running through possible scenarios.

Way of Cats blog 

We just can't resist investigating. And then, testing. What if I put my paw on this paper? Oh, look, it moves. That's how it starts.

That's just the way so many things happen in Tails from the Park. I'm out. I investigate. And, then...trouble finds me.

I've been doing a lot of exploring lately because the humans are getting the book ready. I can spend only so much time waiting for the paper to come out of the printer. When it doesn't, I'm off to find something else to do. Or, of course, catch some ZZZZZs.

Max

Clean is Cool

Clean is Cool

A third of cats' time spent awake is usually spent cleaning themselves.

Check out those scrubbers! They are backward facing barbs that help catch loose hairs. They are also especially good for cleaning meat off bones. 

So, after a cat has eaten his prey, he uses that tongue to remove all traces. That's so other prey won't have a clue that he's around. 

On hot days, cats groom to create extra evaporation from their tongue. Hey, we're pretty adaptable, aren't we?

For all you humans, gooming may be a sign that your cat is stressed or anxious. It's a displacement behavior. So, as a discerning human, make sure you notice if your cat is grooming a lot. If he is very stressed he can even create a bald patch from excessive grooming.

When cats hang out together, like in a multi-cat home, they create a group scent by grooming each other to create their own cat gang scent. Kind of like a perfume of us! Not only does this grooming create a group scent it strengthens bonding in the group.

Hey, speaking of groups, don't forget to join the Max Gang to get more head bumps and other signs of bonding. You'll get up to the minute, first notice, news about Tails From The Park.

Max

Bad Santa!

Every Season Is Bad Santa Time

Meet the bad, bad Santa. He's my favorite pounce-and-kill toy. I pounce. I grab. I bite. I toss in the air. I hold on and bite more. 

I do battle with him all the time. And I win!

 

Bad, bad Santa shows up again and again in Tails from the Park. Join the Max Gang for publication news. I'll be taking pre-orders soon. I'm so excited. So excited that...

I've got to find that bad Santa and do battle.

Max

Cat Bones

Flexible Bones

Ha! We have more bones than humans. OK, the extra ones in the tail are obvious but take a look at those extra back bones. And, they help us balance in those places where humans might fall. 

Here's the drill on the back bones from Wikipedia

Cats have seven cervical vertebrae like almost all mammals, thirteen thoracic vertebrae (humans have twelve), seven lumbar vertebrae (humans have five), three sacral vertebrae (humans have five because of their bipedal posture), and, except for Manx cats and other shorter tailed cats, twenty-two or twenty-three caudal vertebrae (humans have three to five, fused into an internal coccyx). The extra lumbar and thoracic vertebrae account for the cat's enhanced spinal mobility and flexibility, compared to humans. The caudal vertebrae form the tail, used by the cat as a counterbalance to the body during quick movements. Between their vertebrae, they have elastic discs, useful for cushioning the jump landings.

They're why we are more supple. And we have extra padding between those bones.

And, humans wonder why we can move through such small openings. Whiskers are the limit! Our shoulders attach to our forelegs by free-floating bones so we can pass through any space where our head will fit.

I get into some tight spots in Tails from the Park like down holes and under houses, but I'm still here to tell my stories thanks to my bones.

Hey, don't you think the cat in the illustration looks almost like me? Except, not as handsome of course.

If you are way into details, here's more on all of our fantastic cat bones.

A – Cervical or Neck Bones (7 in number). B – Dorsal or Thoracic Bones (13 in number, each bearing a rib).C – Lumbar Bones (7 in number).D – Sacral Bones (3 in number).E – Caudal or Tail Bones (19 to 21 in number).

1 – Cranium, or Skull.
2 – Mandible, or Lower jaw.
3 – Scapula, or Shoulder-blade.
4 – Sternum, or Breast-bone.
5 – Humerus.
6 – Radius.
7 – Phalanges of the Toes.
8 – Metacarpal Bones.
9 – Carpal or Wrist-bones.
10 – Ulna.
11 – Ribs.
12 – Patella, or Knee-cap.
13 – Tibia.
14 – Metatarsal Bones.
15 – Tarsal Bones.
16 – Fibula.
17 – Femur, or Thigh-bone.
18 – Pelvis, or Hip-bone.

Max